Sunday Problem-Solving

[Posted by Jake]

Did you see where the incumbent state representative, Babette Josephs (the name alone is cringe-worthy), in Philadelphia's 182nd District, accused her Democrat Primary challenger of being rich and heterosexual? I don't know about you, but I'd be at her campaign office with a fruit basket posthaste, grateful for the good press, if it wouldn't be taken the wrong way... or the right way... oh, it's so confusing.

But not in Philadelphia Democrat politics, particularly in open-minded Center City. The challenger, 29 year-old Gregg Kravitz (not to be confused with Lenny "Are You Gonna Go My Way" Kravitz), quickly denied the accusation, making clear that he was spied with a lovely lady only because he was bisexual, and he really, really promises to be with a man on his next date. He went on to clarify his wealth status, declaring that he's held jobs as a trader, real estate agent, political consultant and a partridge in a pear tree.

So this privileged slacker, who can't make up his mind about either his business or personal life, thinks he ought to represent the citizens of Philadelphia in the Legislature. Sounds about right. After all, he will be replacing Ms. Babette, notorious for being one of the most liberal politicians in Harrisburg.


Meanwhile in our nation's capital, White House flacks are rushing to extinguish the raging Internet brush fires outing Solicitor General Elena Kagan as a lesbian. Apparently, Kagan and her Harvard lover are one of the worst-kept secrets among the Beltway elites, yet the mere mention of this incendiary fact to the unwashed masses has put the Administration's political spin machine on high alert.

Kagan is one of the odds-on favorites to successfully navigate Obama's emotive search for a Supreme Court nominee, so you would think the gay special interests and self-righteous diversity police would be celebrating this toppling of yet another loathsome bias of those awful little people called citizens.

And perhaps they would be, except for that problematical November exercise called mid-term elections. Few Presidents in history have managed to alienate so many so quickly, and the last thing Obama needs is another controversy pitting his small, but insatiable liberal constituency against the reawakened and unhappy American public.

So expect the hypocrisy to flow unabated. The long-promised repeal of the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy is entirely moot when applied to the Administration's chief legal officer. The truth about Kagan's personal life and experiences, so essential to the Sotomayor nomination, will be strategically dismissed as irrelevant in the run-up to the mid-term elections.


Here's a thought...just because I'm a problem-solving sort of guy.
Let's nominate the slacker to the Supreme Court and move Kagan to the State Legislature. He can keep chasing skirts without pretense and she can shout her alternative lifestyle to the rooftops. I'll even introduce her to Babette.