WASHINGTON -- According to polls, Americans are in a mood to hold their breath until they turn blue. Voters appear to be so fed up with the Democrats that they're ready to toss them out in favor of the Republicans -- for whom, according to those same polls, the nation has even greater contempt. This isn't an "electoral wave," it's a temper tantrum...If only he had the power to send us to our rooms without any supper.
In the punditry business, it's considered bad form to question the essential wisdom of the American people. But at this point, it's impossible to ignore the obvious: The American people are acting like a bunch of spoiled brats.
My fellow Americans you, we, have disappointed one of America's premier liberal pundits. A letter of apology is in order. I have composed one for you all to copy, sign, and send to Mr. Robinson.
Dear Mr. Robinson:
We, the undersigned profoundly apologize for our recent attitudes, expressed through national polls, concerning our political leadership in Washington.
We've been thinking it over and we've decided that you know so much more about how this country should be run than we do. So just tell us what to think and we'll do our best - within our limited capabilities - to try. After all, you and your liberal colleagues at the Washington Post spend much more time thinking about all this political stuff than we do. Better that you tell us what to think, who to vote for, and how much money to give our betters to spend as you and they see fit.
Life in America will be so much more pleasant after we cede to you and your liberal friends the power to hold us accountable and tell us what to do.
Thank you for your patience and bravery in speaking truth to us, the ignorant masses that make up the voting electorate. We will try not to let you down in the future. We hope we will not force you to scold us a second time.
Signed,
We, the Nitwits of the United States
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