[Posted By Jake]
Now that the President's "coincidental" Wednesday conflict with the Republican debate has been resolved, we are free to give our undivided attention Thursday to the greatest speech in the history of mankind. A preview of Obama's proposals has been leaked to Spencerblog, and it's an unexpected* hole in one.
*Any Obama economic plan or unemployment figures must include the word "unexpected" since that oft-repeated excuse has become a new college drinking game.
Tonight, our fearless leader will boldly announce a new federal stimulus to build thousands of golf courses across America. This massive program will mandate that each citizen be required to play a minimum of two rounds of golf per week, expanding the Commerce Clause in the Constitution like Obamacare, or face a stiff fine. The same way President Kennedy challenged America to put a man on the moon by the end of the 60's, President Obama will challenge all Americans to break 100 by the end of his second term. Instead of the New Frontier, it will be called the New Fairway.
Tens of thousands of jobs will be created, real green jobs for real greenskeepers. The demand for landscapers will be so high that Congress will have to pass the Dream Act, providing amnesty for illegal aliens, and registered voters for Democratic districts. The increased physical activity supports the First Lady's campaign for healthy living, though its domestic focus might cramp her international travel lust.
Best of all, no one will ever be able to criticize the President for his record-breaking rounds of golf because he will have made the game a new entitlement.
No comments:
Post a Comment